emotional?? suck my dick!

i try to act tat im not tired...but indeed i m..i try to smile the best smiles i can show..but still there's sadness hanging in my lips..

tis is how i feel rite now.. my sis has came down to study here...everything is totally different now..everything changed..how i wish i was still the only one here..how i wish i still have tat freedom that no one will report bak to my parents..

all....GONE~

try to close my eyes and slip...but thoughts kip running in my head..matters of everyone around me..matters of me..all revolving around me..juz like the typhoon wind which is rite now blowing outside my house..it spins and spins and spins and it nvr stops.. how i wish i m that wind..i kip spinning and change the course to another place..run away from it all..

juz like the song from Midnight Hour - Running Away..

#And try, and try to understand me
And try to understand what I say when I say I can't stay
I, I'm moving on from this place
I'm leaving and I won't quit running away.

I'm running away.
I'm leaving this place.
Yeah, I'm running away.
I'm running away.#

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on another matter...happy birthday ah Lerr~~...we played egg and flour...ON HIM!!..haha...and my hands are all sticky and thx to Jin...my hair are all covered with the cake..smells sweet..>.<||.. Ur birthday coming k Jin!!!...haha...watch out for me!! they invited me to MOS this SAT..but i dunno whether can i make it or not..since i juz had a fight with my parents and plus they are coming down on that day for my relatives wedding dinner..oh, how i wish i can not to attend tat wedding dinner..everything changed since i came here..sigh..


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when i come bak from the egg-throwing-ppl-chasing-cake-smashing party for ah lerr i went bak home to take a shower..who knows!!! no water...AGAIN!!... i 4 8 tulan i tell u guys...but i still cant bear the feeling when i get bak to my room, i saw reggie is there and my sis is there as well but no one really pay attention to me...i was like another stranger in their lifes..

yea indeed, i require a lot of attention from my frens..i m tat kind of person...hate me?? dun mix with me then!!...i felt down..but still im still me no matter wat rite? i gave sophia a call and ask kok hong whether can i go over their house and take bath there..

i went over...no one talks to me...i know..they blame me for not celebrating Piz's birthday with them and celebrating with Karen's gang..i can choose rite?...i had my birthday dinner with piz..i treat her to eat tom yam...and i juz have fun with karen they all..i have 7 frens which has the same day on 12th of sept..

i turned down one of my closest fren which she came bak all the way from DUBAI to celebrate her 21st birthday to have dinner with Piz..im not making this matter big but i juz wan to let u know that no matter wat u guys are still very important in my heart..and i juz get all the fun from Karen's gang..i luv them as well...they are all my frens k?!

plus one more thing i felt irritated is...i know im not a clean freak...ok, ur thinking are damnnnn rational k? im not..im still childish...im dirty...talk bad about me all u wan..happy?

i had enuff of u saying im stupid..im idiot in front of everyone else!!

i had enuff of u pushing me all the time and say fuck u fuck u!!

i had enuff of u making fun of me with my girl's frens!!

i had enuff of all ur rational thinking k?...

im not a guy who flws the law like u... wats wrong playing egg in the park..yea its dirty and all but i had fun!! i wan my life to be filled with fun memories! is tat wrong? yea i admit, we were wrong in the first place for throwing eggs around shouting...but dun tell me u nvr did that b4 in ur LIFE!!..

if u nvr do that b4..im sooooooo sry to tell u that ur life sux!! i have frens in my life that cheers me up whenever i nid them...so no matter wat i always care for them and help them in anyway i can...life is about fun...y take it sooo seriously?? and thx for telling me all of the things in a veryyy sarcastic way...i felt sooo good when u say that...nvr felt better..thx for cheering me up dude..|..

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~do u know that im missing u??? yea it's u u know?!~

wat the hell!!...i know it ain't me...well..hope all the best to ya~...i have nothing more left to say anymore...juz let me rot in my own cradle and left me to die...thx for letting me knowing u...dying in this way is a pleasure~